I am still high from last week’s series of events. Today is Daloy Dance Company’s photo-shoot for our 2014-2015 season performances. Before the day goes wild, I shall put into writing the things I am grateful for.
1. I was able to start this dance with three girls, Jomelle, Nikka and Zyda for Dysmorphilia, for Imaginarium Festival. There are some dances that flow naturally from you. While some take so much time and effort. SO MUCH TIME AND EFFORT. But this dance is developing nicely. Last Monday was press-con for Imaginarium and Jomelle was able to try Leeroy’s prosthetics while she performed onstage. She described how weird it felt to dance with a ‘different’ physicality than what she is used to. She finds it exciting to be with nine other dancers exploring this concept in performance.
2. Daloy performed at The National Art Fair. I was not able to go to the actual shows. As a start-up, we are undermanned. Someone has to teach the classes, do front desk work, perform in several shows, write stuff, answer mails and calls, while everyone is also dog-tired from classes and rehearsals. It is fascinating how Jared, Jerrica, Mara and Inna pulled ‘An Echo from An Eye’ off and was able to attract future partners with Daloy during the fair. I watched their last studio rehearsal and was almost brought to tears. They did good. Our participation in the Art fair was a last-minute invite, and it was quite humbling to see how the dancers worked so hard and devotedly in just four days of rehearsals.
3. Thank you to Chris for making a wonderful music for the piece, Daloy in seven hours. Thank you to the three dancers, Jomelle, Al and Nikka who stuck with me since day one of our exploration, discussion and rehearsal process, all the way up to our show at The Homecoming Gala at CCP. It is my first time to experience killing a whole dance we made for a month, only to be replaced by a new one hours before the show, for the simple reason that my gut tells me to. My gut tells me that the piece is not ready yet, that some babies need more time than the others to grow, to incubate, to have more studio time, and that it is ok. Even if it feels like ‘failure’. Thank you Jared and Russ and Daniel for being my ear and shoulder at 3AM as I bawl over the fact that I made ‘crap’ and is torn between sharing that ‘crap’ with the world or taking this outrageous risk of making a new one. Thanks for telling me you have faith in me. That craps exist. That craps don’t define you. Instead they define the amount of daring and bravery you do, so you don’t get stuck in old formulas of things.
4. Thank you to Ballet Philippines’ Homecoming Gala. Thank you. I have learned a lot. Classes are important. Training is important. Notes are important. Patience is important. Giving good energy is always important. Planting seeds is important. I see these amazing groups and i am reminded of why we are doing what we are doing.
5. Inspiring teachers and choreographers abound in the whole festival. I have always thought doing your own thing would mean you would attract the same people who are after your own heart. In a way this is true. But for most of the part, there is always a noble and selfless teacher behind each talent. Teachers impart their vision and values and sacrifice so much of themselves and even their ambitions, so that the great works of art will keep getting made by younger generations. The great teachers have been serving us, as students. And they have been teaching us to serve the ‘art’ as artists. Thank you!
6.Daloy shared a dressing room with Airdance dancers, Dance=pull and Annie Divinagracia School of Dance dancers. !! It was light and fun. I have utmost respect for your work. Thank you sa mga chika at kwento. It is true how there are chikas and kwentos that open your eyes to new perspectives, and there are chikas and kwentos that make you want to go to the studio the following day and try out new things, train some more, and explore some more. Thank you!
7. Students and supporters of Daloy. Salamat for watching our show at CCP, salamat for being so sweet by texting a lot, asking if our dance classes are pushing through despite our shows. Only bad bad bad weather can stop us from sharing a dance class with you. yes. Even if we are doing shows, someone will always be teaching in our school classes. You inspire us!
8. The teachers and choreographers whom I have met and worked with in the past. Salamat. You have no idea how much you are changing the world, and the world of the people whose lives you have touched, with your tough love, with your gentle reassurance, with your push, with the little hates and longings you keep and the huge pride you feel and cannot always show simply because you care so much more about ensuring that your students are on the path to improvement and betterment. You have instilled passion and discipline and inspiration in me so much more than anyone else.
9. Chris, because he is a sensitive man. And sensitive men can save this dis-harmonic, ego-centric word we are living in. Thank you for understanding me at the hundreds of moments where my mind is somewhere else– in the studio, onstage, on our dance school’s front desk or at the show that is to happen a month from now, while we are having dinner, a nice romantic dinner. I love you. You are the guy I have been praying for all these years. I love you.
10. Waking up today and not feeling like I need a break or a day-off. I do. Honestly I do. But then everybody does. I am thankful that today I woke up feeling more inspired and refreshed (than tired and whiny) because our group has work to do. We got work we enjoy doing and we are doing it together.
Yesterday Teacher Agnes Locsin shared to me what her teacher told her, “1 out of 10 dances. Only one. Only one will be good.”
Neurotic perfectionism at its worst makes you want to just curl up in bed, close your windows and feel like booger all day. Downing vodka at 9AM. While courage, real courage.. is asking– Well, what is FAILURE anyway? Really? What is it?
Life is nothing. Therefore we can be anything. You can be a choreographer who made nine crappy dances. Because, why not? If that’s what it takes to get even just one, really good one, why not?
Cheers to tremendous mistakes. And love and farewell to all my ugly ducklings.
Dressing room fun. Photo by Jomelle Era
Daloy DC at Curtain Call. Photo by Erick Dizon
Photo by Tuchi Imperial. Kulit bowing during curtain call.